


Revengers Reuinite! (also known as thor makes a group chat)

by thehumanoidprime



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Dank Memes, F/F, F/M, Group chat, M/M, OOC, Relationship Goals, Revengers, Secondary Peter Parker/Ned Leeds, ThunderScience - Freeform, Valkyrie is a bisexual babe ™, a bit of sexual innuedno, frankly quite meta, heimdall is a revenger, i love thorbruce, interwebs, loki has a secret lover, ned leeds and peter parker being dorks, overuse of dead memes, revengers group chat, thor and bruce are the overly pda couple, thorbruce
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-05-07 22:44:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 11,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14681013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehumanoidprime/pseuds/thehumanoidprime
Summary: Thor makes a group chat so that the revengers can talk to each other.Chaos ensues.I mean, what were you expecting?





	1. Revengers reunite!

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at like 2am so it might be incoherent in places  
> names are pretty obvious but just in case:  
> Thor (the best!) : thor (duh)  
> You’re A Valkyrie!!!! : brunnhilde  
> bANNNER!! : bruce  
> Best Bro <3!!! : loki

**Thor (the best!) added You’re A Valkyrie!!!!, bANNNER!! and Best Bro <3!!! to the group chat “The Revengers Reunite!”**

**bANNER!! :** hello?

**Thor (the best!) :** HELLO MY FELLOW REVENGERS!!! I HAVE CREATED THE GROUP CHAT!!

**You’re A Valkyrie!!!! :** this name is too long im changing it

**Thor (the best!) :** awww :<

**‘You’re A Valkyrie!!!!’ Has changed their name to ‘Kickass’**

**Kickass :** Thats better

**Best Bro <3!!! : **Thor I am going to kill you

**Thor (the best!) :** Why this time

**bANNNER!! :** that makes a change

**Kickass :** ayyyyy lmao

**‘Best Bro <3!!!’ has changed their name to ‘Loki’**

**Kickass :** booooring

**‘Kickass’ has changed ‘Loki’s name to ‘Bitch’**

**Bitch :** Rude

**Bitch :** But not techinically incorrect so I guess I’ll keep it

**Kickass :** nooo it backfired fuck you

**bANNNER!! : ok if you guys are changing names i want to be something else this punctuation hurts me**

**Thor (the best) :** Not you too! D: I thought you loved meeee

**‘bANNNER!!’ has changed their name to ‘Science bro’**

**Science bro :** sorry thor ill make it up to you

**Bitch :** eww keep your pda out the group chat

**Thor (the best) :** shut up brother you’re just sad because you’re single lol

**Science bro :** aayyy burn hi-5 me someone

**Kickass :** hi-5 wooo!

**Kickass :** the fuck is a hi-5

**Thor (the best) :** its a chest bump but with hands

**Science bro :** i mean technically youre not wrong but still

**Kickass :** im joking i know what a hi-5 is lol cnat believe you feel for that shti llmaoajo

**Bitch :** are you dead brunnhilde

**Kickass:** asidlaisiasyfpasuidpoaua

**Thor (the best) :** :O !

**Thor (the best) :** i should be used to being tricked by now

**Bitch:**  you really should i mean i cant even count how many times ive tricked you wow

**Bitch :**  is it something like 9,000,000 times? No? 9,000,001?

**Science bro :**  wait you guys are counting

**Thor (the best) :**  its 9,000,002 youre forgetting the time you stabbed me last week

**Bitch :** oh yeah hahah that was hilarious

**Kickass :**  i thought you said youd stop stabbing him if i gave you that wine i stole

**Bitch :** i said it, doesn’t mean i meant it

**Kickass:**  also i love how ur grammar has slowly descended as this chat continues

**Science bro :** i mean who cares its not like this is meant to be a consistent fic or anything

**Kickass:** what

**Bitch :** what

**Thor (the best) :** what

**Science bro :** what

**Thor (the best) :** anyway so the group chat is a good idea then

**Bitch :** no its a terrible idea and i love it

**Kickass :** i mean he(?)s right

**Science bro :** i think its a good idea thor dw

**Thor (the best) :** thank you love

**Kickass :** _quote “Bitch : eww keep your pda out the group chat [9:15 pm]”_

**Thor (the best) :** don’t be mean brunnhilde were in love

**Bitch :** wow look i was right all along

**Science bro :** technically its 2 vs 2 so we get to keep the pda in the group chat

**Thor (the best) :** i love it when you use your science for good love

**Science bro:** i do aim to please dear

**Thor (the best) :** :D  <3 <3 <3

**Bitch :** ////////////////////////////////

**Science bro :** :O nooo  </3

**Thor (the best):** <33333333333 --->

**Science bro :** \-- > <3 yaay

**Bitch:** /////////////////

**Bitch:** fuck too late

**Kickass:** this is quality entertainment

**Kickass:** i would pay for this

**Bitch :** as much as id love to stay and deal with your pda brother i have some stuff to pretend im interested in

**Kickass :** yeah i do have an appointment with punching some cool rocks i saw

**Kickass :** and theres 6 bottles of wine i need to drink

**Thor (the best) :** awwwww guyssssss

**Science bro :** don’t worry thor we can watch a movie if theyre busy :D

**Thor (the best) :** :D can we watch Labyrinth again?

**Science bro :** thats literally what we watch every time aren’t you tired of it yet

**Science bro :** i mean yeah we can watch it but really

**Thor (the best) :** i like the optimisim!

**Science bro :** you are so pure

**Kickass:** so pire

**Kickass:** pure

**Bitch :** so pure

**Thor (the best):** o////o

**Bitch :** we love you thor ur the best

**Bitch :** asdgaiohsd;oasudo;udoapppppppppppppppppppppppp

**Bitch :** fuck off thor stop messing with my phone

**Thor (the best) :** you know you love me

**Bitch :** no

**Thor (the best) :** im wounded

**Bitch:** let me do my shit or ill stab you again

**Thor (the best) :** asdoasdopasid[pa[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[

**Science bro:** thor????????

**Thor (the best) :** 9,000,003 times

**Science bro :** thor!!!!!! Come here and watch the movie while i patch up your stab wound

**Science bro:** also loki sleep with one eye open im sending hulk after you

**Science bro :** HULK SMASH PUNY GOD

**Science bro :** PUNY GOD HURT THOR

**Science bro :** THOR BESTEST FRIEND

**Bitch :** you wish beast good luck fitting through the doorframe

**Kickass:** lol ur gonna die

**Thor (the best) :** please don’t kill him

**Kickass:** i don’t think theyre listening any more

**Thor (the best) :** i think i heard a girlish scream

**Kickass :** lol loki is dead

**Thor (the best) :** Nooo!!!!!! Not again!!!!!

**Kickass :** im joking hes praobaly just horrificlly inurued

**Thor (the best) :** !!!!!

**Kickass :** bye then


	2. Valkyrie is in trouble and bruce is the only one who understands earth stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> valkyrie drank the science

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> names as follows:
> 
> Science bro : bruce  
> Thor (the best) : thor  
> Bitch : loki  
> Kickass : brunnhilde

**Last message : 48 hours ago**

**Science bro:** brunnhilde

 **Science bro :** @kickass

 **Kickass:** what

 **Science bro :** did you drink the bottle with a label on it reading ‘do not drink me i am bruce’s science project and i will probably kill you’

 **Kickass:** idk maybe lemme check the pile

 **Science bro :** >:o

 **Kickass:** ye i drank it it didn’t kill me

 **Science bro :** WHY

 **Kickass:** it taunted me

 **Thor (the best) :** no offense love but if it says it will kill you you have to test it

 **Kickass :** seeeee

 **Bitch :** i mean you could just not ,,..drink it???

 **Science bro :** i cant believe it but i agree with loki

 **Bitch :** i need to screenshot this for blackmail

 **Thor (the best) :** loki no don’t u remember what happened last

 **Bitch :** aidhoaispudpasidpaoidpaosidpoioiiiiiiiiiii

 **Thor (the best) :** ...time

 **Kickass :** hahaha

 **Science bro :** its not me

 **Science bro  :** like i can hear him screaming on the floor above its not me

 **Kickass :** haha its me

 **Thor (the best) :** how are you texting whilst beating up my brother

 **Thor (the best) :** also maybe stop doing that

 **Kickass :** because im the best

 **Kickass :** i take your title

**‘Kickass’ changed ‘Thor(the best)’s name to ‘Sparkles’**

**Sparkles :** no!

**‘Science bro’ changed ‘Sparkles’s name to ‘Golden retriever’**

**Golden retriever :** love how could you

 **Science bro :** its true

 **Kickass :** true

 **Bitch :** true

 **Kickass :** ok your free to go now loki but stop being mean owo

 **Bitch :** never

 **Bitch :** ow

 **Bitch :** maybe

 **Kickass :** i;ll take it

 **Science bro :** anyway back to my science project

 **Kickass :** oh yeah that hahaha

 **Science bro :** DONT DO THAT NEXT TIME

 **Golden retriever :** woah there love calm down the suns going down

 **Science bro :** but my science thorrrr my science

 **Golden retriever :** brunnhilde im your king stop drinking the science

 **Kickass :** i rebel

 **Bitch :** join the club

 **Golden retriever :** i thought you loved me

 **Science bro :** i do

 **Kickass :** i mean platonically hate to hurt ur feeling s babe

 **Bitch :** in a brotherly manner

 **Golden retriever :** im literally dating bruce

 **Kickass :** shrug noise

 **Science bro :** did you just write ‘shrug noise’

 **Kickass:** _quote “ Kickass: shrug noise [8:33am]”_

 **Science bro :** :, <

 **Golden retriever :** oi don’t make my boyfriend cry

 **Kickass :** haha

 **Bitch :** i swear he cries on his own

 **Bitch :** he was literally crying in the kitchen this morning

 **Science bro :** my coffee was salty for some reason it was horrible

 **Science bro :** almost like a god of mischief changed the salt and the sugar

 **Golden retriever :** _quote “Golden retriever: oi don’t make my boyfriend cry [8:34am]”_

 **Bitch :** you cant stop me

 **Golden retriever :**   im literally a god

 **Bitch :** “im literally a god” too

 **Science bro :** i mean he has you there dear

 **Kickass :** _quote “Bitch : eww keep your pda out the group chat [9:15 pm, 2 days ago]”_

 **Science bro :** don’t be mean you can get someone to pda with

 **Science bro :** you too loki stop being mean to ur bro

 **Bitch :** never

 **Bitch :** brothers fight

 **Kickass :** there are no lesbians nearby

 **Kickass :** i have looked

 **Bitch :** have you tried the coffee shop

 **Bitch :** i hear there is an attractive barista

 **Kickass :** shes taken i tried

 **Science bro :** @Golden Retriever you should be her wingman

 **Golden retriever :**  id be happy to help you find a maiden brunnhilde

 **Kickass :** where are we gonna find anyone this place is a ghost town

 **Golden retriever:**  check ur instant messages

 **Kickass :**  how the fucketh

 **Golden retriever :**  ;D

 **Science bro :** did you just set her up already

 **Bitch :** brother!

 **Bitch :** im impressed

 **Science bro :** thor what the actual fuck

 **Golden retriever :** avengers group chat is full of lesbians

 **Science bro :** how did you manage to convince

 **Kickass:** we’re going on a date on Sunday :D

 **Science bro :** thor is ultimate wingman

 **Golden retriever :**  now we just have to find loki someone

 **Bitch :** no you don’t

 **Golden retriever** : come now you cant be alone forever

 **Bitch :**  no i mean i literally have a partner back off

 **Golden retriever :** :o WHAT

 **Golden retriever :** why am i only now hearing about this

 **Bitch :**  because youre terrible at being nosy

 **Bitch :** theyre the best

 **Golden retriever :** when do i get to meet them

 **Bitch :**  never

 **Science bro :** isn’t this an episode of friends

 **Golden retriever :** whats friends

 **Bitch :**  whats friends

 **Kickass:** midguard tv show

 **Science bro :** thor, loki get ur asses over here were binge watching friends

 **Science bro :** val youre invited if you want to come

 **Kickass :** im bringing wine

 **Bitch :** ok if theres wine

 **Golden retriever :**  ill get some popcorn on my way back from the supermarket

 **Science bro :** ill set up Netflix

 **Bitch :** thor pick up some wine brunnhildes hogging it

 **Bitch :** thor

 **Bitch :** @Goldenretriever

 **Bitch :** wine

 **Golden retriever :** fine


	3. loki is a hoeki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> local god says "oops" as he posts stuff to the group chat by 'accident' and also loki is a dead bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Golden retriever : thor  
> Science bro : bruce  
> Bitch : loki  
> Kickass : brunnhilde

**Last message _yesterday_ at _3:55am_**

**“Golden retriever” sent _63 _ messages to the group chat “The Revengers Reunite!” from the chat “Best Bros <3!!!!!!!!!!,,,”**

* * *

 

**Adopted :** thor?

**Sunshine :** yes brother??

**Adopted :** may i talk to you about something?

**Sunshine :** of course! I am always happy to hear from you! Even though you are in the next room and could just come talk to me in person if you wished

**Adopted :**  shut up you moron

**Adopted :**  i need your help

**Sunshine :** did you kill someone?

**Sunshine :** because as your brother i will happily aid you in hiding the body but as king i kind of have to arrest you and it’s too early in the morning for moral dilemnas

**Adopted :** thor it is literally 3 in the afternoon

**Adopted :** and no, i did not kill anyone

**Sunshine :** what did you do???

**Adopted :** why do you always assume that it is something that i did?

**Sunshine :** the last time you messaged me in this chat you stabbed my boyfriend : (

**Adopted :** well this time

**Adopted :** i did not

**Adopted :** but on the subject

**Adopted :** i need relationship advice

**Sunshine :**  what

**Sunshine :** whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

**Sunshine :** O:

**Adopted :** do you remember

**Adopted :** the one who used to be mother’s personal guard???

**Sunshine :** SIGRUNN??? YOU’RE DATING SIGRUNN???

**Sunshine :** AS IN THE SIGRUNN WITH THE TWO SHIELDS THAT LOCK TOGETHER AND DO THE COOL MAGNETY THING???

**Adopted :** you do remember! How convenient.

**Sunshine :** wait so how did

**Adopted :** well they were in the bar on the ark ship when we fled from saakar, and we kind of had a drunken bonding moment

**Sunshine :** may i inquire as to the context of said bonding moment?

**Adopted :** crushing the social constructs of midguardian gender and the superiority of asgardian gender roles

**Sunshine :** there are no gender roles on asgard

**Adopted :** exactly

**Sunshine :** so what is the problem or did you just want to rant about _Sigrunn~_

**Adopted :** well

**Adopted :** i am bad at anything that involves

**Adopted :** caring

**Adopted :** about people soo

**Sunshine :** you literally stab me every few days

**Sunshine :** but what does this have to do with your relationship with Sigrunn

**Adopted :** i want to get them a present but what do people want as a gift

**Adopted :** also they said i felt cold when i hugged them how the fuck do you insulate a frost giant

**Sunshine :** i cant solve the insulation problem hahahahaha

**Sunshine :** but may i suggest merely looking into what Sigrunn enjoys and likes?

**Sunshine :** for example, Bruce, my boyfriend, the light of my life,,, the eternal love

**Sunshine :** my whole world, my joy, my beautiful, my handsome, my absolute pleasure,

**Adopted :** i get it thor

**Adopted :** you love banner

**Adopted :** please get on with it

**Sunshine :** well bruce loves science and baking!! So i find recipies and fail to make them correctly!

**Sunshine :** and then i help fix the mess i made!!

**Sunshine :** and then he will tell me the science behind the recipe i failed!

**Sunshine :** and i listen because he is adorable talking about what he loves !!!!

**Sunshine :** and that is how you are a good boyfriend!

**Adopted:** that literally is the stupidest thing ever but also oddly supportive?

**Adopted :** i guess i shall have to do some sleuthing

**Adopted :** shouldn’t be hard

**Adopted :** illusions are my specialty :D

**Sunshine :** you could just... ask sigrunn?

**Adopted :** and show that i am hopeless at this??????

**Sunshine :** and show that you want to know about their interests!

**Adopted :** i guess i could give it a try

**Adopted :** as much as it pains me to say this, thank you brother

**Sunshine :** anytime brother!!

 

* * *

 

 

**Bitch :** THOR

**Bitch :** I AM GOING TO KILL YOU

**Golden retriever :** I SWEAR THIS WAS AN ACCIDENT I WAS TRYING TO SHOW BRUCE

**Science bro :** i can confirm this

**Bitch :** you’re in cahoots with him don’t try to save him

**Kickass :** oohh hoo hoo what do we have here

**Bitch :** THOR DELETE IT

**Kickass :** ahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa this is hilarious

**“Golden retriever” deleted 63 messages**

**Kickass :** too late got screenshots

**Kickass :** screenshot2859.jpeg

**Bitch :** brunnhilde you are next on the hitlist

**Science bro :** theres a hitlist??!??!?!

**Golden retriever :** brother no!! No hitlists!!

**Bitch :** youre all on it now

**Science bro :** wjat di d i doo???weW i was no part in this!!!

**Bitch :** youre on fucking thin ice brucie

**Golden retriever :**  stop heckling my boyfriend brother

**Golden retriever :** or ill go heckle sigrunn

**Bitch :** thats how it is is it

**“Bitch”** **changed “Science bro”s name to “ Beast”**

**Kickass :** ....

**Kickass :** oh no he didn’t!!!!

**Golden retriever :** brother!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Beast :**....

**Beast :**........

**“Beast” changed “Bitch”s name to “Puny god”**

**Puny god :** how dare you!!

**“Beast” changed their name to “Gay science”**

**Gay science :** if you ever do that again ill set the hulk on you so help me you will never see the light of day ever a fucking gain.

**Golden retriever :** oh my

**Kickass :** hloy fckingshitwhat egushdshdioahdoichsdiofhwil

**Kickass :** you can tell he fucking menat that

**Golden retriever :** bruce please don’t kill my brother im kind of not good with that

**Gay science :** sorry thor no promises

**Kickass :** holy shit he called you thor instead o fsome sappy nicj=kanme this is sERIOUS

**Golden retriever :** loki??

**Puny god :** someone change my name banner has locked me out of admin privileges

**Golden retriever :** no

**Puny god :** brunnhilde as your prince i command you

**Kickass :** sorry dude gotta follow the king and his bf

**Kickass :** bruce actually has more authority anyway :)

**Puny god :** listen im sorry i made you relive that shit that one time

**Kickass :** ohhohoho you better be :)

**Kickass :** : )

**Golden retriever :** ok this is enough drama for one night

**“Golden retriever” locked the members “Puny god”, “Kickass”, “Gay science” and “Golden retriever” out from  the group chat for 24 hours**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> loki didnt mean it he will probably apologise sometime


	4. thors poptart mistake and bruce's kinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> slight nsfw themes nothing graphic??  
> just like side comments  
> also you can pry thor/poptarts from my cold dead hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Golden retriever : thor  
> Gay science : bruce  
> Puny god : loki  
> Kickass:brunnhilde

**24 hour lock out is over.**

**Kickass :** bout damn time

 **Puny god :** you missed this bullshit?

 **Kickass :** quality entertainment™

 **Gay science :**  well i guess we’re back

 **Golden retriever :** i must admit i did miss the constant roasting of loki like a hog

  **Puny god :** will someone _please_ change my name now

 **Golden retriever :** loki, begging? Brunnhilde give loki back his phone

 **Puny god :** but its funny09up9aupUDPUpsuPUSpoauoooooooooooooo

 **Kickass :** BRUNNHILDE!!!!

 **Puny god :** haha i have your phone

 **Kickass :**  i have your phone you imbecile

 **Puny god :** r00d

**“Kickass” granted “Puny god” admin permissions**

**Kickass :** haha!

 **Kickass :** ajdoajopsjfcopJSDPOIO

 **Puny god :** finally

**“Puny god” changed their name to “Loki”**

**“Kickass” changed “Loki”s name to “Fucked a horse”**

**Fucked a horse :** that was ONE time!!!!!!

**“Golden retriever” changed “Fucked a horse”s name to “Stay frosty”**

**Stay frosty :** ehh at least its better than the last one

 **Gay science :** hey anyway while on the subject of names

 **Gay science :** val’s new gf is called bill

 **Kickass :** bruce. How dare u

 **Kickass :** ur gonna regret that

**“Kickass” sent  61  messages to the group chat “The Revengers Reunite!” from the chat “Saakar sucks** **™”**

* * *

 

 

 **Drink ur problems :** oi brucie

 **Thorsty :** 1\. Hi 2. Did you change my name again

 **Drink ur problems :** its true don’t look at me loke that

 **Thorsty :** i mean yeah but still

 **Drink ur problems :** hey anyway so

 **Drink ur problems :** soooo

 **Drink ur problems :** you know how i said i was dating that human girl thor set me up with from some group chat

 **Thorsty :** yes

 **Thorsty :** you may have mentioned it at least 27 times but whos counting

 **Drink ur problems :** so our date went well right

 **Drink ur problems :** but i did a bet i could beat her in a sparr

 **Drink ur problems :** and i lost

 **Thorsty :**  she kicked ur ass?

 **Drink ur problems :** she kicked my ass.

 **Thorsty :** i thought ur ass was unkickable?

 **Drink ur problems :** as did i

 **Drink ur problems :**  but im kinda into that sooo

 **Thorsty :** i mean same

 **Drink ur problems :** we both have the same type: people who can kick our asses

 **Thorsty :** who doesn’t like a good ass-kicking

 **Drink ur problems :** anyway her name is Bill and shes really fuckin cute ok

 **Thorsty :** thor is cuter

 **Drink ur problems :** fight me on that

 **Thorsty :** id rather not but if its for thor then bitch ill destroy yoy

 **Drink ur problems :** thats so sappy and romantic that ill let it slide loverboi

 **Drink ur problems :** anyway as i lost the best i owe her a “date to rival that of the gods”

 **Drink ur problems :** probably gonna regret this but ur banging a god what dates do u guys have

 **Thorsty :** well thor usually picks them because im busy with science a lot

 **Thorsty :** we usually go to zoos and other earth attractions he hasn’t seen on asgard

 **Thorsty :**  i mean bill could totally dig snakes or something idk

 **Thorsty :** butttt considering it is you dating this lady i would suggest violence

 **Drink ur problems :** im listening ; >

 **Thorsty :** have you heard of paintball?

 **Drink ur problems :** does it involve fighting

 **Thorsty :** you shoot people non lethally with balls of dye that hurt like hell in a battle of dominance as teams or alone

 **Thorsty :** like you could 1v1 paintball or like go as a duo and destroy some heteros

 **Drink ur problems :** both? both. both is good.

 **Thorsty :** you could get milkshakes in between

 **Thorsty :** or like, some minor alcoholic beverages

 **Drink ur problems :** i mean milkshake and bagels in between sounds fuxking awesome

 **Thorsty :** lol ur so gay

 **Drink ur problems :** u gay

 **Thorsty :** this is the true bi mlm flm solidarity

 **Drink ur problems :** yeet

 **Thorsty  :** so on a scale of thor to loki how cute is ur gf

 **Drink ur problems :** a solid thor and above™

 **Thorsty :** no one is above thor

 **Drink ur problems :** thor is too loud

 **Thorsty :**?

 **Drink ur problems :** let me rephrase my subtle comment

 **Drink ur problems :** when u fuck fuck quieter

 **Thorsty :**??????!!!!! \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\0-0////////////

 **Drink ur problems :** u heard me banner

 **Drink ur problems :** gag him or something

 **Thorsty :**  don’t encourage me

 **Thorsty :** don’t

 **Drink ur problems :** ooooh does someone have a bondage kinkkkkkkkkkkkk

 **Thorsty :** this went south holy shit

 **Drink ur problems :** uhhh

 

* * *

 

 

 **Gay science :** BRU!!! HOW COULD YOU

 **Stay frosty :** well isn’t this interesting :3

 **Gay science :** i mean u kinda fucked urself over too val

 **Kickass :** eh its nothing people don’t know

 **Kickass :** i totally have a kink for violence

 **Stay frosty :** did we really need to know that?

 **Kickass :** thor

 **Gay science :** oh gods did is scare hum off oah no aisdhaiohdiashdioh no

 **Golden retriever :** i go to the shops one (1) time and youre all kinkshaming

 **Golden retriever :**  all i wanted was poptarts

 **Golden retriever :**  why are you like this

 **Gay science :** dear please ignore my incescant ramblings ahhh

 **Golden retriever :** babe i love u and ur weird kinks shut up

 **Kickass :** hes totally into it

 **Stay frosty :** oh totally

**“Kickass” changed “Golden retriever”s name to “Poptarts”**

**Poptarts :** wha

**“Gay science” changed “Kickass”’s name to “Traitor”**

**“Traitor” changed their name to “Beer bi”**

**Beer bi :** don’t challenge me ill steal ur admin powers

 **Poptarts :** anyway im having a poptart party

 **Gay science :** how many did you buy love

 **Gay science :** be honest

 **Poptarts :** help me

 **Gay science :** dearest thor? How many poptarts are filling our apartment?

 **Stay frosty :** thor im coming

 **Beer bi :**  oh im not missing this

 **Poptarts :** ah haha

 **Gay science :**  thor why cant i open the door

 **Gay science :** THOR WHY CANT I OPEN THE DOOR IS THE APARTMENT JUST POP TARTS NOW??

**“Poptarts” removed themselves from the group chat for 24 hours**

**Gay science :** @Stay Frosty @Beer bi

 **Beer bi :** its all poptarts

 **Beer bi :** we had to climb in though the window

**Stay frosty :** _sent an image_ thorspoptartmistake.gif

**Stay frosty :** please roast thor i live for conflict

 **Gay science :**  can someone just let me into my own apartment so i can eat some of this mess?

 **Stay frosty :** hang on ill teleport you in

 **Gay science :**  what

 **Gay science :** iaodjwaoiuopupuaspduxpaUDPOAUDP


	5. wholesome thor and bruce dont yell at each other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thor is a lighweight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beer bi - brunnhilde  
> stay frosty - loki  
> gay science - bruce  
> poptarts - thor

**“Poptarts” has been re-added to the group chat after 24 hours**

**Beer bi :** ohhh hoho thor is gonna GET IT

 **Stay frosty :** good luck

 **Gay science :** are you guys expecting me to roast thor for the poptartapocalypse in the group chat?

 **Poptarts :** he already did that

 **Stay frosty :** brother, you give off the vibe of a disheartened dog

 **Beer bi :** aww naw, he gives off the “you’re sleeping on the sofa tonight” vibe

 **Gay science :** you guys think i made thor sleep on the sofa??

 **Gay science :** i am a literal ball of anxiety who hates confrontation

 **Beer bi :** but we heard you yelling after we left

 **Stay frosty :** brunnhilde!

 **Poptarts :** brother. How long did we live together before you faked your death and i left asgard?

 **Stay frosty :** i have no idea

 **Poptarts :** surely in that time you picked up on the knowledge that i am easily excitable and loud

 **Gay science :** basically that yelling was just thor being thor

 **Gay science :** he is an overexcited puppy like 99% of the time guys

 **Gay science :** its like dating a ball of sunshine

 **Gay science :** so bright and pure

**Stay frosty :** _quote “Bitch : eww keep your pda out the group chat [9:15 pm, 6 days ago]”_

**Gay science :** ur just sad because sigrunn is on a quest without you~

 **Poptarts :** ahahahaha brother it’s true!

 **Poptarts :** my boyfriend,ll,.,d.,. is the best

 **Stay frosty :** is there anything that you _don’t_ tell your pitiful boyfriend, brother?

 **Poptarts :** DON’T BE MEAN TO BRUCE HES THE BEST

 **Poptarts :** i’ll tell sigrunn

 **Beer bi :** ohhhh holy shittballssssss

 **Stay frosty :** i am going to kill you

 **Beer bi :** who

 **Poptarts :** who?

 **Gay science :** which one of us

 **Stay frosty :** all of you

 **Beer bi :** do you need to come round and drown your sorrows in alcohol?

 **Stay frosty :** no

 **Stay frosty :** ..yes

 **Gay science :** do you two do this often?

 **Beer bi :** do you know how **_hard_** it is to get drunk when you have an asgardian metabolism and midguardian strength alcohol, bruce?

 **Beer bi :** answer- it is hard

 **Gay science :** but thor manages it??

 **Stay frosty :** thor, in comparison to brunnhilde here, is a lightweight.

 **Beer bi :** tbh hulk destroyed me in a drinking competition on saakarian wine and that was _strong_

 **Gay science :** wait really?

 **Gay science :** also thor, honey, stop pouting

 **Poptarts :** i am not a lightweight

 **Stay frosty :** do you recall, my dear brother, your birthday where you mfw9epsuvoe8ufw9euf

 **Poptarts :** hmm strangely enough it seems to have slipped my mind

 **Stay frosty :** I WILLN NOT BE SILENCWEUSFW9OAUF9Q

 **Beer bi :**  awww come on thor let him tell ussss

 **Gay science :** im curious now sorry love

 **Gay science :** tell us loki

 **Stay frosty :** so picture this, teeny tiny teenage thor

 **Stay frosty :** and when odin isn’t looking he runs up and steals his super rare and expensive and **_strong_**  wine

 **Stay frosty :**  and after one (1) gulp, he passes out, falls to the ground, smashes the glass and the wine spills everywhere

 **Poptarts :** aidjia not this again

 **Beer bi :** hey didn’t  that cause a massive stir because people thought he had been poisoned

 **Poptarts :** yeah they thought it was meant for my father

 **Stay frosty :** nope, just regular wine

 **Gay science :** how did you know that

 **Stay frosty :** because i tried it before thor and was absolutely fine

 **Stay frosty :** and someone tested it after and nothing

 **Gay science :** awww babe you were a hopeless teen

 **Stay frosty :** hard to imagine, i know, he is the picture of etiquette and put-togetherness now

 **Poptarts :** rude! I’m not that bad

 **Stay frosty :** your fashion sense argues otherwise, dear brother

 **Poptarts :** TTnTT

 **Gay science :** hey guys! Before everyone goes is anyone doing anything tomorrow?

 **Stay frosty :** nope

 **Beer bi :** nah

 **Poptarts :**???

 **Gay science :** im taking you all to the zoo

 **Poptarts :** ooh!!!! Group trip!!!! Will there be penguins????

 **Gay science :** yes, there will

 **Gay science :** im stealing one of tony’s cars for the trip

 **Gay science :** well, more like he lent me it but still

 **Gay science :** meet at thor and i’s apartment at 7am?

 **Beer bi :** yeah!!! I wanna see some cool midguardian beasts yall

 **Stay frosty :** alright fine

 **Stay frosty :** well im going to go see brunnhilde now, so i will see you later

 **Beer bi :**  bye guys! Have  agreat night ;>

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry there's only one chapter this week instead of two- the second one is planned but i've not had time to finish it  
> hopefully it's worth the wait!


	6. zoo shenanigans bois

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> theyre at a zoo  
> what could go wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay frosty : loki  
> Poptarts : thor  
> Beer bi : brunnhilde  
> Gay science : bruce

_**last message 12 hours ago** _

**Stay frosty :** i’m here.

 **Beer bi :** im just locking up my bike to make sure no-one steals my baby

 **Stay frosty :** no-one wants your mucky motorbike val

 **Beer bi :** you are incorrect. It’s original owner probably wants it back dearly

 **Stay frosty :** wait- you stole

 **Beer bi :** it was a nice bike back off

 **Beer bi :** stole is a bit harsh anyway- i left them money

 **Gay science :** we’re almost there

 **Gay science :** sorry were running late loki thors driving

 **Stay frosty :** thor? Driving?

 **Gay science :** hes learning

 **Poptarts :** i drove us here!!!!

 **Gay science :** were on our way to the entrance loki

 **Beer bi :** sorry for being late damn i went to get mcdonalds

 **Stay frosty :** did you get me anything

 **Beer bi :** no

 **Stay frosty :** :0

 **Stay frosty :** r00d

 **Gay science :** ok brunnhilde

 **Gay science :** were all here

 **Stay frosty :** that means

 **Poptarts :** you’re paying for lunch!

 **Poptarts :** say no in 3 seconds or its final

 **Stay frosty :** 1

 **Gay science :** 2

 **Poptarts :** 3

 **Beer bi:** no!! How dare u do this to me when i was walking over

 **Poptarts :** why didn’t you check your phone

 **Beer bi :** i was walking?

 **Poptarts :** always check your phone!

 **Beer bi :** why?

 **Stay frosty :** no thor

 **Gay science :** thor if you love me don’t do it

 **Poptarts :** BECAUSE THATS WHAT HEROES DO

 **Gay science :**   babe why

 **Stay frosty :** noooooooooooooo

 **Beer bi :** hey nothing hit you in the face this time

 **Poptarts :** gasp

 **Poptarts :** anyway les go

**_Last message 2 hours ago_ **

**Gay science :** where did everyone go????

 **Gay science :** i got to the toilet for one (1) minute and youre all gone???

 **Poptarts :** dearest ok so you’re not gonna believe this

 **Poptarts :** but loki turned into a snake and ran off to scare people

 **Poptarts :** and val may or may not have chased him laughing

 **Poptarts :** and i may or may not have lost them and gotten lost myself

 **Gay science :** babe!!! no!!!!!

 **Gay science :** where are yall??? Send me something!!

 **Gay science :** so i can find you

 **Poptarts :** im near some creatures that resemble greechants

 **Beer bi :** i lost loki so im just chilling near some weird watery beeterjoots

 **Gay science :** ?? are these asgardian animals??? Guys??? Earth dude here???

 **Poptarts :** val help me describe a greechant

 **Beer bi :** big snooter?

 **Gay science :** does it have big ears?

 **Poptarts :** no? It has small ears

 **Gay science :** what colour is the creature ?

 **Poptarts :** grey? And leathery?

 **Gay science :** ok i think youre near the tapirs im gonna come over

 **Beer bi :** ok now thor help me describe a beeterjoot

 **Poptarts :** small and adorable?

 **Gay science :** thor i see you

 **Poptarts :** dearest!!! I see you!!!!

 **Beer bi :** guys. Beeterjoot. Reunion later.

 **Poptarts :** bruce says to tell you he thinks you are at the penguins because you mentioned water

 **Poptarts :** we’re heading over

 **Beer bi :** ok im just gonna sit here then

 **Poptarts :** val!!! Is that you???

 **Beer bi  :** no i literally cant see you

 **Poptarts :** bruce showed me the map and i think we know where you are

 **Beer bi :** oh hey i see you guys

 **Gay science :** how the hell are these small and adorable

 **Gay science :** seals are literally massive

 **Gay science :** i mean adorable yes but small??

 **Beer bi :** thats small for us

 **Gay science :** ?????!!!!

 **Poptarts :** guys lets go find loki!!

 **Beer bi :** do we have to

 **Poptarts :** i have an idea!!

 **Poptarts :** lets go find the snakes!!!

 **Beer bi :** hey thor don’t admire them theyll stab you

 **Poptarts :** :o

 **Poptarts :** :(

 **Beer bi :** i still cant belive you fell for that

 **Gay science :** several times

 **Poptarts :** honey! How could you!

 **Gay science :** you know you love me

 **Poptarts :** that i do, love, that i do

 **Stay frosty :** awwww

 **Poptarts :** >:o

 **Poptarts :** Loki!!!

 **Poptarts :** LOKI!

 **Gay science :** aaaand he’s gone

 **Beer bi :** there’s the snakes anyway

 **Beer bi :** loki ur a dead snake

 **Gay science :** HES GOING GUYS LOOK

 **Beer bi :** AFTER HIM

 **Poptarts :** RUN

 **Gay science :** AFTER THAT LITTLE GREEN SNAKE

 **Poptarts :** THROW SOMETHING AT IT

 **Beer bi :** IT BOUNCED HES REAL

 **Poptarts :** CATCH HIM

 **Gay science :** ITS GOTTA BE HIM LOOK IT HAS A LIL GOLD HEAD

 **Poptarts :** READY SET

 **Beer bi :** WOO GO THOR DIVE FOR THAT SNAKE

 **Gay science :** hahahahahah omg he looks so disgruntled

 **Stay frosty :** you guys are no fun

 **Beer bi :** and hes back

 **Beer bi :** and paying for lunch for the disruption

 **Stay frosty :** what??

 **Gay science :** fair

 **Poptarts :** definitely

 **Stay frosty :** i have no money

 **Poptarts :** youre literally a prince loki we are both loaded

 **Stay frosty :** ughr fine

 **Stay frosty :** but just this once

 **Poptarts :** :D

 **Gay science :** lets go eat!!!

 **Beer bi :** seconded!!

 **Poptarts :** thirded!!!

 **Stay frosty :** woo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is late and on thORsday not Wednesday lol its like 1am here 
> 
> if its unclear two asgardians and a human chased a tiny green snake across a zoo whilst people ducked out of the way and screamed  
> loki is merely mischevious not malicious  
> he only bit one person  
> and that was thor when he caught him


	7. bruce banner appreciation club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ah. bruce. where does thor start?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos to my friendarino megan who helped me come up with this idea bc she knows i love some good thorbruce

**“Valhalla bitches” created a group chat.**

**“Valhalla bitches” added “Brucie Bro” and “Hoeki”**

**Valhalla bitches :** ok hey everybody

 **Brucie Bro :** uhh val? What are you planning?

 **Hoeki :** oh wow no thor.... interesting?

 **Valhalla bitches :** ok now we three know what i have just done.

**“Valhalla bitches” changed “Brucie Bro”s name to “Valhalla bitches”**

**Valhalla bitches :** uhh val??? What???

 **Valhalla bitches :** ahaha ok so we know whos who im gonna place full stops. In my sentences

 **Valhalla bitches :** val what the heck a doodle??

 **Hoeki :** ohhh i see where this is going

**“Valhalla bitches” named the chat “BRUCE BANNER APPRECIATION GROUP”**

**“Valhalla bitches” added “Thwhore”**

**Thwore :**???

 **Hoeki :** welcome brother

 **Valhalla bitches :** yo thor buddy. Sooooo tell us whats up w/you and bruce atm??

 **Thwore :** you want to hear about bruce?

 **Hoeki :** oh, definitely

 **Valhalla bitches :** yes. we very. Very. Much. Do

 **Thwore :** well ok then!!

 **Thwore :** bruce banner, light of my life, the most handsome scientist ever to exist, the love of my entire existence, the joy of my days, the kindest man in the known universe

 **Hoeki :** thor

 **Thwore :** the brightest spark in all the world, the most affectionate and romantic person i know, the most adorable shy scientist who is so cute and clumsy and a dork and i love him

 **Hoeki :** yes we know, you have said this before

 **Hoeki :** but what we want to know is

 **Valhalla bitches :** WHAT. IS IT. THAT YOU FEEL?

 **Valhalla bitches :** wait what

 **Thwore :** what i.. feel?

 **Valhalla bitches :** i mean you don’t have to

 **Thwore :** nonsense bruunhilde! You know how much i adore talking about bruce!!!!

 **Thwore :** he makes me feel at home, even though asgard is gone

 **Hoeki :** how romantic. Do continue brother

 **Thwore :** he makes me feel electric, like a storm

 **Valhalla bitches :**   a storm?

 **Thwore :** yes! well you two know how much i _adore_ storms

 **Thwore :** very very much

 **Hoeki :** no, i had no idea

 **Hoeki :** its not like you create storms all the time brother

 **Hoeki :** and definitely not as a child

 **Thwore :** bruce makes me feel as if i am something more

 **Valhalla bitches :** more than the king of asgard?

 **Valhalla bitches :** yeah?? Whats that about.

 **Thwore :** i feel so small next to him

 **Thwore :** here is a man who has been through so much

 **Thwore :** a man who is two men

 **Thwore :** i love every part of him, and the hulk too

 **Thwore :** i love how when bruce laughs his eyes sparkle

 **Thwore :** and when hulk laughs, his eyes shine

 **Thwore :** there is a difference yet so similar and soothing and loving

 **Thwore :** i do not know in full if bruce and the hulk share these sentiments

 **Thwore :** but i do not ever wish to part from either of them

 **Valhalla bitches :** oh

 **Hoeki :** damn brother you have this hard

 **Hoeki :** electric love

 **Hoeki :** also its abundantly clear that you are very serious about this relationship and that banner should know that

 **Valhalla bitches :** yes it is almost. As if. He would like you to say this . more often.

 **Thwore :** but what if i embarrass him?

 **Thwore :** i would hate to make my love uncomfortable

 **Valhalla bitches :** oh, thor

 **Valhalla bitches :** honey

**“Valhalla bitches” changed “Valhalla bitches” name to “IT WAS BRUCE ALL ALONG”**

**Valhalla bitches :** thats right!

 **Hoeki :** you saps are the most pda couple i know

 **Hoeki :** embrace it!

 **Hoeki :** you dorks

 **IT WAS BRUCE ALL ALONG :** hey thor

 **IT WAS BRUCE ALL ALONG :** those things

 **IT WAS BRUCE ALL ALONG :** that you said

 **IT WAS BRUCE ALL ALONG :** those were pretty neat

 **IT WAS BRUCE ALL ALONG :** i love you thor

 **IT WAS BRUCE ALL ALONG :** and i know that hulk agrees

 **IT WAS BRUCE ALL ALONG :** im pretty sure its one of the few things we agree on

 **Thwore :** dearest,,,

 **Thwore :** im going to cry all over the dining table adsfgf

 **Thwore :** i love you so much more than i can put into words

 **Thwore :** and if i should have one wish, it would be that you know this, always

 **IT WAS BRUCE ALL ALONG :** i

 **IT WAS BRUCE ALL ALONG :** clear a space im gonna cry a whole bathtub of tears

 **IT WAS BRUCE ALL ALONG :** that is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me

 **IT WAS BRUCE ALL ALONG :** i love you you big doof and i want to spend forever with you too

 **Thwore :** i love you too my darling and i will be with you as long as you live

 **Hoeki :** so

 **Valhalla bitches :** thank us later

 **Hoeki :** when’s the wedding?

 **IT WAS BRUCE ALL ALONG :** WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT ORGANISING AN INCREDIBLY STRESSFUL WEDDING

 **Thwore :** we can talk later

 **IT WAS BRUCE ALL ALONG :** ok love. I trust you. I love you.

 **Thwore :** i love you too, and i would trust you with my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if this is too sappy for yall but i love a good happy ending


	8. magicity tm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the group joins an online game!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beer bi : val  
> gay science : brucie  
> poptarts : thorsty tm  
> stay frosty : that one brother who had a great time in infinity war

**_Last message sent group_ 48 hours _ago_ **

**Beer bi:** where are you all?

 **Stay frosty:** I am at soup

 **Poptarts :** loki is with us, brunnhilde

 **Gay science :** we’re at the supermarket

 **Beer bi :** ok ya so you know i bought a new pc

 **Poptarts :** why this time?

 **Stay frosty :** she smashed it in a chaos rage lol

 **Beer bi :** did not!

 **Beer bi :** i happened to accidentally misjudge the aim on my battle axe.

 **Beer bi :** and hit the monitor.

 **Beer bi :** and the computer itself.

 **Beer bi  :** twice.

 **Gay science :** anyway val what about it?

 **Beer bi :** ok SO

 **Beer bi :** i found this game and i think we should all play it!!

 **Gay science :** game?

 **Poptarts :** oh, do tell!

 **Stay frosty :** can you stab people in it

 **Beer bi :** yes, game, its called Magicity and yes you can stab people

 **Stay frosty :** there’s magic and stabbing??? Sign me the fuck up

 **Gay science :** can you be peaceful?

 **Beer bi :** yes you can be a pacifist you minecraft loving cinnamon roll

 **Poptarts :** YEET

 **Gay science :** THOR WHERE ARE YOU GOING YOU CANT LEAVE US IN THE SUPERMARKET

 **Stay frosty :** annnndddd hes gone.

 **Stay frosty :** let’s pay, shall we bruce?

 **Gay science :** I guess we’ll see you at home???

 **Beer bi :** thor have u got it downloading?

 **Poptarts :** on my laptop and the home computer!

 **Poptarts :** have you got it downloading on loki’s laptop there?

 **Beer bi :** yes, its almost done

 **Gay science :** im back!!!

 **Poptarts :** in the lounge, love!

 **Stay frosty :** val what are you doing on my laptop

 **Beer bi :** u nasty dw stayed out of ur files

 **Stay frosty :** oh wait is this Magicity?

 **Beer bi :** ya come on make ur character

 **Beer bi :** im a buff troll lady its the good shit

 **Stay frosty :** ok

 **Gay science :** im gonna be a regular old human

 **Gay science :** with some cool healing powers!

 **Poptarts :** I shall be your forsworn knight then, my love

 **Poptarts :** I will protect you!

 **Stay frosty :** im gonna be a stabby magician

 **Poptarts :** aren’t you already a stabby witch

 **Stay frosty :** aren’t you already bruce’s knightly protector

 **Poptarts :** aaaawww

 **Gay science :** awwwww

 **Beer bi :** loki thinks theyre cute rlly

 **Beer bi :** how wholesome

 **Gay science :** OK lets play!!!1!!!!

 **Beer bi :** follow me yall

 **Poptarts :** i will guard you, love

 **Gay science :** awwww babe

 **Stay frosty :** hah

 **Poptarts :** DID YOU JUST STAB ME

 **Stay frosty :** bruce can heal you

 **Poptarts :** thats not...

 **Gay science :** IM HEALING YOU HONEY DONT WORRY

 **Gay science :** hey loki

 **Gay science :** perish

 **Stay frosty :** did you just throw poison at me?

 **Stay frosty :** WHY

 **Beer bi :** guysssss we gotta do the quest stop fighting each other

 **Stay frosty :** bruce

 **Stay frosty :** bruce im at 3 hp bruce please

 **Stay frosty :** BRUCE

 **Poptarts :** someone help my brother!!111 he’s dying!!1!!!

 **Gay science :** hmm

 **Stay frosty :** 1hp!!!

 **Gay science :** fine

 **Stay frosty :** ughr

 **Beer bi :** guys i hate to interrupt this touching moment but

 **Poptarts :** we seem to be surrounded by bandits

 **Stay frosty :** ah. How bad for them

 **Gay science :** ive got ur back guys kick their asses

 **Poptarts :** REVENGERS ASSEMBLE!

 **Beer bi :** Ive got the left

 **Stay frosty :** ive got the front

 **Poptarts :** ive got the rest

 **Gay science :** im healing yall but fair warning im gonna prioritize thor bc hes my bf

 **Stay frosty :** traitor

 **Beer bi :** r00d

 **Stay frosty :** hah! Take that!

 **Beer bi :** less type mor efight

 **Poptarts :** her right

 **Gay science :** GUYS HELP

 **Beer bi :** *gays

 **Poptarts :** BRUCE IM COMING LOVE

 **Poptarts :** PERISH HEATHEN

 **Stay frosty :** wow hes using his special attacks haha

 **Beer bi :** thor no ur wasting all ur powers being petty!!!

 **Poptarts :** AND THATS WHY YOU DONT MESS WITH THE REVENGERS!!!!!

 **Beer bi :** we need to play this more often


	9. memes and betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> despacitoe
> 
> toe suckers unite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gay science -broos banter  
> poptarts - thot odinslut  
> stay frosty - hoeki daddy issues  
> beer bi - valkyrie is the sanest one here

**“Poptarts” poked “Stay frosty”**

**“Poptarts” poked “Stay frosty”**

**“Poptarts” started a group call.**

**“Beer bi” denied.**

**“Gay science” denied.**

**“Stay frosty” denied.**

**“Poptarts” poked “Stay frosty”**

**Stay frosty :** THOR FOR THE LAST TIME NO I WILL NOT BRING YOU ANY MILK

 **Poptarts :** but i put the milkshake powder in the glass!

 **Poptarts :** i cant go back now!!!

 **Stay frosty :** then go buy some milk yourself heathen

 **Poptarts :** but your house is closer to the store!

 **Stay frosty :** just go to the corner shop thor

 **Beer bi :** loki has a point corner store is like 2 mins away thor

 **Poptarts :** i cant

 **Beer bi :** and why is that?

 **Gay science :** he messed up the store and got banned

 **Stay frosty :** oh brother! Now i’m actually paying attention

 **Stay frosty :** bruce, dear, what did he do

 **Gay science :** never call me that again you grease weasel

 **Stay frosty :** be nice to your future brother in law!!!!

 **Beer bi :** sdfghjkl

 **Gay science :** nnnope

 **Poptarts :** Loki! Stop heckling my boyfriend

 **Stay frosty :** never

 **Stay frosty :** hey bruce marry thor already

 **Stay frosty :** thor banned me from stabbing anyone who wasn’t family

 **Gay science :** i fear for my life

 **Poptarts :** babe youre invincible

 **Gay science :** so is loki technically

**“Stay frosty” changed their name to “Future Brother in law”**

**Future Brother in law :** ha!

 **Poptarts :** brother why are you like this

**“Future Brother in law” changed “Poptarts”s name to “Marry him already”**

**Marry him already :** loki please

**“Gay science” changed “Marry him already”’s name to “Hes a literal god leave him alone”**

**Hes a literal god leave him alone :** awww dearest.,,,, you’re ,,,,, so kind

 **Gay science :** awww thor, honey,,, ily

 **Hes a literal god leave him alone :** ily2  <3

 **Beer bi :** who taught thor how to text adfag

**“Hes a literal god leave him alone” changed their name to “YEET”**

**YEET :** this is what they call a meme

 **Gay science :** thor,, honey,, why,, we all know you already know about memes

 **YEET :** the spiderling and shuri have been teaching me!!!

 **Gay science :** thor we know you have known for months

 **Gay science :** you literally did a t-pose on the escalator yesterday

 **Future Brother in law :** is this why you wanted milk

 **YEET :** he need some milk!!

 **Future Brother in law :** i disown you as a brother

 **YEET :** this is so sad alexa play despacito

**“Future Brother in law” changed their name to “Only child”**

**Only child :** thwore who

 **YEET :** hoeki

 **Bi babe :** Valkyrie!!

 **Gay science :** why did i let you watch shrek

 **Bi babe :** you love us really brucie

 **Gay science :** do i though?

**“Gay science” changed “Beer bi”s name to “142th scrapper”**

**142th scrapper :** hey there taika waititi korg

 **142th scrapper :** i wanna go on a vacation to saakar sometime

 **Gay science :** NO!

 **YEET :** please no

 **Only child :** but what is there worth visiting

 **142th scrapper :** uhh the grandmaster u twink

 **Only child :** oh please he lives in LA quite comfortably with Darryl

 **YEET :** Darryl?

 **YEET :** as in Darryl Jacobson?

 **YEET :** my old roommate?

 **YEET :** what

 **Only child :** i visit quite often, haven’t you ever noticed?

 **YEET :** no?

 **YEET :** wait i thought you and sigruun??

 **Only child :** didn’t work out

 **Only child :** they didn’t share my opinion on stabbing

 **YEET :** oh no, are you ok?

 **Only child :** im loki

 **142th scrapper :** wait loki why are you visiting that old creep

 **Gay science :** val what have you done

 **Only child :** isn’t it obvious?

 **142th scrapper :** bleughr

 **YEET :** eughr gross loki

 **YEET :** G R O S S

 **Only child :** choose your next words wisely

 **YEET :** THE GrANDmAsteR???? REalLY???

 **Only child :** thor you would willingly fuck the hulk any day of the week

 **YEET :** and?

 **Only child :** i don’t think its your place to kinkshame

 **Gay science :** this went downhill

 **Gay science :** im mentally scarred

 **Gay science :** can we talk about something else now

 **142th scrapper :** i second bruce’s opinion

 **142th scrapper :** bruce wanna come and paint ur nails i got some new polishes

 **Only child :** ooh can i come

 **142th scrapper :** no ur not invited u skanky bitch

 **142th scrapper :** bruce we can have a sleepover

 **Gay science :** sure val!!! Sounds great!!!

 **YEET :** aww dearest....ur abandoning me

 **Gay science :** thor i live with you

 **Gay science :** you saw me 5 seconds ago

 **Gay science :** bye

 **YEET :** this is so sad alexa play despacito again

 **Only child :** brother we have been scorned

 **YEET :** wanna come over and have some brotherly bonding tm

 **Only child :** not like i have anything better to do

 **Only child :** might as well

 **YEET :** what shitty romcom do you want to bitch over?

 **Only child :** suprise me

 **YEET :** popcorn is in the microwave grab it on your way in pls

 **Only child :** get ur own servant

 **YEET :** thanks

 **142th scrapper :** bruce says he cant type bc im painting his nails but shut the fuck up loki

 **142th scrapper :** he says tell you that i rephrased his words

 **142th scrapper :** also he says to say don’t eat all the food thor

 **142th scrapper :** and that you guys better not trash the house

 **Only child :** ahahahaha trash the house what does he think we are

 **YEET :** asgardians?

 **142th scrapper :** he says last time you fought he had to buy a whole new kitchen

 **YEET :** this is brotherly bonding time tho

 **Only child :** no fighting only rule

 **YEET :** we however, will happily bitch about hela

 **Only child :** and odin

 **YEET  :** and get sad about our mother

 **Only child :** and thor shares incriminating information!

 **Only child :** Its great!

 **142th scrapper :** that sounds kind of messed up but you guys do you

 **142th scrapper :** were gonna do face masks and watch some shitty het drama

 **142th scrapper :** and drink wine

 **Only child :** did you think we haven’t already got through a bottle

 **142th scrapper :** bruce says that better not be his wine

 **Only child :** his wine is trash i brought my own

 **142th scrapper :** ha bruces nails are almost done so were gonna go do some pampering see ya

 **YEET :** were gonna build a pillow fort and talk shit about people

 **Only child :** whilst drinking wine and watching i forget which shitty romcom thor picked

 **YEET :** night dearest i love you

 **142th scrapper :** he says g’night

 **142th scrapper :** Hrd type with nailsss nt quite dyr i love u thot goodnifht

 **YEET :** good night, fair bruce. Till the morrow

 **Only child :** show off

 **YEET :** shut up and help me peg these blankets hoe


	10. >:3 nya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> where did bruce go?
> 
> thank you Esperata for the idea!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEET : thor odinson  
> Only child : Loki odinson  
> Gay science : still bruce  
> 142th scrapper : VALKYRIEEEEEEE

**Last message sent 6 _hours_ ago**

 

 **142th scrapper :** hey bitches

 **YEET :** hello friend!!!

 **Only child :** what its too early for this

 **142th scrapper :** bruce isn’t responding to my calls and theres a weird beeping noise

 **Only child :** weird beeping??

 **YEET :** What!!!!!??????

 **YEET :** where did he go??? When was he last seen??

 **YEET :** I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST ASLEEP

 **YEET :** WHAT

 **142th scrapper :** he left earlier and said he would be back later?

 **YEET :** WHAT

 **Only child :** how odd, i wonder where he went

 **Only child :** its a Saturday morning, nothing is really open

 **YEET :** where could he have gone???

 **YEET :** what if hes injured??

 **YEET :** what if hes lost???

 **YEET :** what if he has a cold and has no tissues????

 **Only child :** you sure have your priorities in order

 **142th scrapper :** well he cant exactly have gone far he left his keys

 **142th scrapper :** so it must be within walking distance

 **YEET :** bruce does like to wander sometimes....

 **YEET :** but he usually takes his phone just in case!

 **YEET :** he should respond??

 **YEET :** he has missed all of my calls!

 **142th scrapper :** in other news that weird beeping is getting more frequent

 **142th scrapper :** i hope none of my grenades have been activated

 **142th scrapper :** i hope it wasn’t ravager

 **YEET :** ravager?

 **Only child :** wait has thor not met ravager yet

 **YEET :** ravager????

 **142th scrapper :** my asshole cat

 **142th scrapper :** i thought i showed him to you last time you were here

 **YEET :** you showed me A cat

 **142th scrapper :** see!

 **YEET :** you did not say his name was ravager!!!

 **YEET :** a brilliant name for a loyal companion!!!

 **142th scrapper :** he literally walks off all the time

 **142th scrapper :** he is such an asshole

 **Only child :** hes perfect for you

 **142th scrapper :** he is thank you

 **YEET :** but WAIT WHAT ABOUT BRUCE

 **142th scrapper :** a bomb might be about to go off and kill me and my cat and ur more worried

 **142th scrapper :** ABOUT BRUCE WHO LITERALLY CANNOT DIE

 **YEET :** but what if

 **YEET :** he is hungry!!! I doubt he ate breakfast!!!

 **Only child :** it is things like this which make me consider disowning you properly

 **YEET :** brother TT^TT im worried leave me be

 **Only child :** aww cmere ill stab you, just like old times! Will that make you feel better?

 **YEET :** maybe

 **YEET :** but how will bruce patch me up when hes missing?

 **Only child :** fine ill wait till ur dumb scientist boyfriend comes back to stab you

 **YEET :** thank you brother

 **142th scrapper :** its like 5am now

 **Only child :** this is too early what the fuck

 **YEET :** bruce has been known to walk around in the starlight but its pretty much gone by now

 **YEET :** and he,,is not really a morning person

 **YEET :** he hardly ever wants to leave the bed

 **142th scrapper :** maybe thats bc you are also in the bed dumbass

 **142th scrapper :** anyway if its so early

 **142th scrapper :** then why are you awake

 **Only child :** i haven’t slept yet

 **142th scrapper :** why not

 **YEET :** we were marathoning movies!

 **YEET :** we watched high school musical!!

 **142th scrapper :** oh no

 **Only child :** oh yes. 3 times. All 4 movies. Over and over.

 **Only child :** if i ever see zac efron in real life i am going to punch him

 **YEET :** have you seen it val?

 **142th scrapper :** yup.

 **YEET :** who is your favourite character???

 **YEET :** mine is ryan evans

 **Only child :** ironically mine is sharpay.

 **142th scrapper :** tbh im a fan of gabriella

 **YEET :** now that is unexpected

 **142th child :** shes a drama queen and also very pretty

 **142th child :** my bisexual heart,,

 **YEET :** high school musical, i have been informed, is a metaphor for bisexuality.

 **YEET :** spiderling told me so it must be true!

 **Only child :** how did we even get onto this topic

 **Gay science :** the best character is chad you peasants

 **Gay science :** also why are we talking about high school musical?

 **YEET :** DEAREST YOURE OK

 **YEET :** WE WERE WORRIED YOU WERENT ANSWERING YOUR PHONE

 **Gay science :** yeah i accidentally left it at vals

 **Gay science :** im at the library using one of the computers

 **Gay science :** i did say i was going to go to the library to grab those books right

 **Gay science :** didn’t i?

 **142th scrapper :** NO???

 **Only child :** ah, so THATS what the mysterious beeping was!

 **Only child :** i bet it was bruce’s phone

 **Only child :** where did you leave it bruce?

 **Gay science :** by the sofa?

 **142th scrapper :** ohhhh thats what it was

 **142th scrapper :** thats good my grenades are all fine then

 **Gay science :** you have live grenades in your apartment

 **Gay science :** val im never staying at yours again

 **142th scrapper :** noo ill throw them out don’t abandon my sacred lands

 **Gay science :** they better be gone by the time i get back val or so help me ..

 **Gay science :** actually hulk says he would be happy to yeet them around in the bomb site outside of town if you want

 **142th scrapper :** SOUNS LIKE A DATE

 **YEET :** hey i want to come yeet some explosivses!!!!

 **Only child :**  you cant cause chaos and destruction without me!!!

 **Gay science :** yes we can

 **Only child :** noooo

 **YEET :**  alexa thats so sad play all by myself

 **Only child :** im inviting myself anyway

 **Gay science :** ehh fine

 **YEET :** i can drive us in the truck!!!

 **Gay science :** I WILL drive us in the truck

 **YEET :** why don’t you trust me love?

 **Gay science :**  because jane foster taught you how to drive

 **YEET :** and?

 **Gay science :** she hit you with her car twice in one movie

 **YEET :** movie?

 **Gay science :** i mEAN daY!!!

 **Gay science :** anyway ill see you all at vals? Im gonna need to grab my phone

 **142th scrapper :** your place is closer ill bring ur phone

 **Gay science :** i don’t trust like that val

 **142th scrapper :** you have everything backed up

 **142th scrapper :** besides ill be careful

 **Gay science :** oh no

 **Only child :** rip bruces phone

 **YEET :** don’t worry love, you can make another!

 **YEET :** see you in a moment, love

 **Gay science :** see you soon babe :D

 **142th scrapper :** ravager says >:3

 **142th scrapper :** see you nerds at thorbruce’s

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun note i was gonna change bruces name to "Missing in action" But it was Too Long To Type rip


	11. i wanna be your friend forever (i wanna play nintendo)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> who needs nintendo when you have a friend- oh!
> 
>  
> 
> props to u if you get the ref

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gay science : mr dr robert bruce banner  
> YEET : thor odinson heimdallson, king of asgard and revengers member, former avenger  
> 142th scrapper : as korg said, the one hundred and fourty twoth scrapper. also known as bruunhilde, valkyrie etc  
> Only child : grease weasel 
> 
>  
> 
> jk loki i love u rlly

**Last message sent _11 hours_ ago**

**YEET :** friends!!! And esteemed boyfriend!!!

 **142th scrapper :** what is it budderino?

 **Gay science :** whats up hon?

 **Only child :**  what

 **YEET :** i have discovered something wonderful!

 **YEET :** the spiderling has introduced me to NINTENDO!!!

 **Gay science :** oh? What console?

 **YEET :** i believe he called it a nintnedo de ess!

 **Gay science :** oh wow i haven’t heard that in years!

 **YEET :** he has also shown me a We!!

 **Gay science :** oh wow!!! Where are you? We could all play together!

 **YEET :** that is what i was going to suggest!!!!!

 **142th scrapper :** so what are these things?

 **YEET :** they are virtual games!!!! On a television!!!

 **Only child :** ill come if there’s Mario kart.

 **YEET :** You know of the Mario kart game?? Brother??

 **Only child :** thor how did you not?

 **YEET :** i was busy saving the world and loving my boyfriend

 **142th scrapper :** yall r such saps but i love ya

 **142th scrapper :** ye ill come play if were having a competition

 **YEET :** brilliant!! Meet me at stark’s new tower!

 **Only child :** doesn’t he hate me??

 **Gay science :** if he does i have override codes for all his tech

 **Gay science :** thats what he gets for getting me to build it

 **Gay science :** nobody bans my future brother in law from the building

 **Only child :** bruce,, how kind,,, my immortal heart,,,

 **142th scrapper :** awww bonding moment

 **YEET :** im crying ist so nice to see you two getting along aidhfshgdjks beayiufdskfuks

 **YEET :** my two favourite people!!! Friends!!!!

 **Gay science :** awwww babe

 **Only child :** hes way nicer than you

 **Only child :** how did you get this sweet angel man to love ur dumb jock ass

 **YEET :** first of all, i am a sunshine _joth_ and secondly i have no idea

 **Gay science :** youre adorable

 **YEET :** no youre adorable

 **142th scrapper :** can we just play Mario kart

 **142th scrapper :** im waiting in the lobby w/ur dumb brother thor

 **YEET :** bruce just came in from tony’s lab too!

 **Gay science :** the elevator should let you in now :D

 **142th scrapper :** nice

 **Only child :** i want to be yoshi hes green

 **Gay science :** Im already yoshi fight me

 **Only child :** bruce!!! I thought we bonded!!!

 **YEET :** bruce is always yoshi! Even the spiderling knew this!!!

 **YEET :** and hulk plays as donkey kong!

 **Gay science :** he gets frustrated easy tho so he doesn’t want to play anymore

 **Gay science :** he says he might play later tho

 **142th child :** i want to be bowser

 **Only child :** bowser is ugly

 **142th child :** youre ugly

 **Only child :** touché

 **142th child :** thor who are you being?

 **YEET :** princess peach!!!!

 **Only child :** of course you are

 **Gay science :** we have to get you Mario kart 8 so you can see rose gold peach

 **YEET :** theres a golden one??!!!!!

 **Only child :** i guess ill play as waluigi

 **YEET :** and you called bowser ugly

 **Only child :** ask peter what he thinks

 **YEET :** the spiderling burst out laughing

 **YEET :** youre a dead meme brother

 **Gay science :** hes choking loki you killed him

 **Only child :** your savior is here!

 **142th scrapper :** he means the elevator’s stopped

 **Only child :** get ready to be beaten

 **142th scrapper :** in your dreams

 **YEET :** come on!!! Lets start!!!

 **Gay science :** guys peter says hes gotta get back home to may now : <

 **YEET :** good bye spiderling!! Thank you for introducing me to this!!!

 **142th scrapper :** bye kid!!!!

 **Only child :** smell ya later peter

 **Gay science :** he says “bi!!!” back at yall

 **Gay science :** ok lets start

 

**Last message sent _3 hours_ ago**

**Gay science :** what was that about beating us all loki?

 **YEET :** loki is shooketh

 **142th scrapper :** _i’m_ shooketh

 **Only child :** bruce is scary

 **YEET :** nobody can hurt yoshi without feeling guilty

 **Gay science :** why do you think i play as yoshi, hun?

 **YEET :** betrayed by my beloved

 **142th scrapper :** lol loser

 **YEET :** you came 3 rd val

 **142th scrapper :** well you came 2 nd u cant talk princey

 **Gay science :** if anyone is the loser, it is mr “get ready to be beaten”

 **Only child :** don’t mock me, bruce

 **Gay science :** 4 th place, loki, prince of asgard, fool, sfhiglavedfkhsfhdawkvhljgh

 **YEET :** brother!!!!!

 **YEET :** stop hurting my boyfriend because he is more talented than you

**“142th scrapper” changed “Gay science”s name to “Mario kart champion”**

**Mario kart champion :** thank you, thank you

 **YEET :** the true king

 **Mario kart champion :** i have earned this

 **YEET :** how did you even get so good?? You constantly suprise me with your skills love  <3

 **142th scrapper :** did you play this as a kid or smth?

 **Only child  :** if you did thats cheating

 **Mario kart champion :** actually i never played it as a kid

 **Mario kart champion :** betty taught me all the secret routes and the skills in uni

 **Mario kart champion :** those were the days, 2am playing Mario kart

 **Only child  :** i get the impression you were a riot at uni bruce

 **142th scrapper :** bruce, chugging orange juice and playing Mario kart : wow im hot

 **142th scrapper :** thor, 20 years later : i am going to marry this idiot

 **YEET :** false i would never call my beloved an idiot

 **Mario kart champion :** awwww babe thats so sweet

 **YEET :** well, me n bruce r gonna go sleep now so see ya

 **Mario kart champion :** vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

 **YEET :** bruce fell asleep on his phone again

 **YEET :** i love him so much but he needs to get proper rest

 **142th scrapper :** agreed let him sleep in

 **Only child :** mute his phone so we don’t wake him

 **YEET :** idk how

 **Only child :** hang on

**“Only child” locked “Mario kart champion” out of the chat for _9 hours_**

**Only child :** that should solve the problem

 **YEET :** goodnight!! Thank you brother!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow what music do you use to write to?  
> me, sweating : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7gB5qQk4c4


	12. tonys credit card bill is gonna be so high

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bruce overlseeps and orders chinese food

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only child - loki of ASS guard  
> Mario kart champion -yoshi i mean bruce  
> YEET -memelord of ass guard , thot odinson  
> 142th scrapper - the one hundred and forty twoth scrapper, also known as the last of the valkyries
> 
> A/N - sorry this is so late im very exhausted and thorbruce week is taunting me so i need to vamp up those creative juices  
> fun story this week is based on my friends and i ordering chinese food and backchatting tony snark

**Last message sent _17 hours_ ago**

**“Mario kart champion” rejoined the chat _8 hours_ ago**

**Mario kart champion :** i cant belive you guys let me sleep for _17 hours_

 **YEET :** you are so petty, love

 **Mario kart champion :** but i wasted the day already!

 **142th scrapper :** but bruce you spend all day in your lab anyway

 **Mario kart champion :** thats not a waste though!!!

 **Only child :** bruce, future brother in law, honestly, you needed it

 **Only child :** you looked absolutely terrible at the Mario kart party

 **YEET :** Mario karty

 **142th scrapper :** Mario part karty

 **Only child :** children please

 **Only child :** but bruce you had bags under your eyes the size of odin’s bad parenting skills

 **Mario kart champion :** yikes

 **Mario kart champion :** was i really that bad?

 **YEET :** love you hadn’t slept in 3 full days

 **Mario kart champion :** what do you mean! I slept!

 **YEET :** pretending to sleep when i walk in the room is endearing but also NOT sleeping dearest

 **YEET :** youre a terrible actor

 **Mario kart champion :** : <

 **142th scrapper :** yeah bruce youre terribly honest

 **142th scrapper :** remember that time you tried to convince me you didn’t like that ariana grande woman’s music

 **142th scrapper :** you physically couldn’t say that you didn’t think her songs were bad

 **Mario kart champion :** touché

 **Mario kart champion :** but you like her music too now so you can’t diss me for that

 **Only child :** you know who’s better than ariana grande?

 **YEET :** bruce banner?

 **Only child :** correct

 **142th scrapper :** valid

 **Mario kart champion :** you guys are gonna make me cry

 **142th scrapper :** breaking news bruce banner is better than ariana grande

 **Only child :** bruce is 10x ariana grande

 **YEET :** incorrect

 **Mario kart champion :** finally someone is right

 **YEET :** he is 1000 TIMES ARIANA GRANDE

 **Mario kart champion :** babe whyyyyy

 **Mario kart champion :** anyway

 **Mario kart champion :** as i have pretty much wasted the day who wants to waste the rest of it

 **Only child :** depends on how you intend to waste it?

 **Mario kart champion :** Chinese food

 **142th scrapper :** did i hear food yes im coming

 **YEET :** i love Chinese food!!!! Delightful!

 **YEET :** can we get those cracker things again?

 **Mario kart champion :** only if you promise that you wont leave crumbs all over the apartment again

 **YEET :** i will try my hardest not to

 **Only child :** i want ice cream

 **Only child :** order ice cream for dessert

 **YEET :** loki!!! Ask nicely!!

 **Only child :** fine please, dearest bruce, brother in law to be, order me some fuckin ice cream

 **Only child :** or ill stab thor again

 **Mario kart champion :** i already ordered it

 **Mario kart champion :** _chill_

 **142th child :** bruce that was terrible

 **142th child :** also can i get one of everything and all the alcohol you can get

 **Mario kart champion :** why not tonys paying lol

 **YEET :** does the man of iron know he is paying for this?

 **Mario kart champion :** not yet

 **YEET :** perfect! Order two of everything!

 **Mario kart champion :** screw it im ordering four of everything and _a fuck tonne of alcohol for val_

 **Mario kart champion :** oh, and all the ice cream they have for loki

 **Mario kart champion :** ok its ordered and ive told them to ignore and cancellations

 **Mario kart champion :** if tony calls you know nothing about this

 **Only child :** this is revenge for his bad humor and douchebaggery

 **Mario kart champion :** hes still my friend

 **142th scrapper :** he tried to flirt with me

 **142th scrapper :** and you said he has a wife

 **Mario kart champion :** ok yeah maybe he deserves us spending his money on Chinese food

 **YEET :** the delievery company says its almost here where are you guys

 **142th scrapper :** im parking the bike in your garage

 **Only child :** im regretting agreeing to getting a lift with val

 **142th scrapper :** wuss

 **Only child :** anyway wheres the ice cream

 **Only child :** thor i challenge you to an ice cream competition

 **YEET :** no! You always win because you don’t get brain freeze!

 **Mario kart champion :** even i beat you last time thor

 **Mario kart champion :** and im mostly human

 **YEET :** : <

 **YEET:** :` <

 **Mario kart champion :** aww babe i still love you even if you do suck at ice cream eating

 **YEET :** : >

 **Only child :** we got the order from the dude as he parked

 **Only child :** were bringing it up

 **142th scrapper :** ye hi think i may have squished some of it falling over

 **Mario kart champion :** oh well we have enough

 **Mario kart champion :** im glad u guys are asgardian or it would have taken you more than one trip

 **142th scrapper:** loki isn’t even carrying theirs

 **142th scrapper:** theyre just levitating it with magic

 **Only child :** do these arms look like they lift to you?

 **YEET :** loki you limp noodle get up here im hungry

 **Only child :** i can really feel the love

 **Mario kart champion :** hes hangry

 **Mario kart champion :** you wont like him when hes hangry

 **Mario kart champion :** also i think hulk wants to come out later and eat some of this so pls try and save some for him

 **Only child :** we’ll try

 **142th scrapper :** emphasis on try


	13. were back bby (also known as BRUCE IS APPRECIATED)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> keep reading for a special surprise!!!!!
> 
> mario kart : spotify banner  
> yeet : thotty thunder  
> only child : sad blue icicle  
> 142th scrapper : bisexual icon

**142th scrapper :** hey losers

 **Mario kart champion :** im not going shopping

 **YEET :** I understood that reference!

 **Only child :** thor for the last time imitating steve rogers isn’t funny

 **YEET :** he copied my beard

 **YEET :** seriously, my beard!

 **Only child :** we know

 **Mario kart champion :** aww its ok honey

 **Mario kart champion :** tony says hes been hanging around bucky too much

 **Only child :** i heard that barnes is the one who convinced him to grow it out

 **142th scrapper :** yeah, apparently what he said was that

 **142th scrapper :**   “if you grow a beard you’ll look less like a pre-pubescent child”

 **Mario kart champion :** god bucky is great

 **Mario kart champion :** honorary avenger

 **Only child :** ew avengers

 **YEET :** the avengers are beetles

 **Mario kart champion :** thor i know you know its the beatles

 **YEET :** aww dearest let me have my fun

 **Mario kart champion :** awww babe

 **YEET :** may we address the elephant in the room?

 **Only child :** i shapeshifted into an elephant ONE TIME!

 **Mario kart champion :** you mean the absence of chapters?

 **Mario kart champion :** because the author has totally been major busy with back to school jazz

 **142th scrapper :** what author

 **YEET :** honey you haven’t been to school for years is this some earth joke?

 **YEET :** are you secretly studying for another PHD?

 **Mario kart champion :** no! At least not that i know of

 **142th scrapper :** what are your phds even in?

 **Only child :** yeah how do we not know this

 **Mario kart champion :** have i never told you guys? Try guessing!

 **YEET :** being a wonderful boyfriend and future husband

 **142th scrapper :** pretty hard dick

 **Only child :** gay

 **Mario kart champion :** only one of those is correct

**“142th scrapper” changed “Mario kart champion”s name to “Big Dik Banner”**

**Big Dik Banner :** oh really

 **YEET :** truth

 **Big Dik Banner :** BABE!

**“Big Dik Banner” changed “142th scrapper”s name to “BDE”**

**BDE :** of course I am

 **BDE :** I _drip_ BDE

 **YEET :** leader of the lesbians

 **Big Dick Banner :** lets go lesbians

 **Only child :** your phd is in gay rights

 **Big Dik Banner :** one of them

 **YEET :** Physics!

 **Big Dik Banner :**  bingo bungo youre both righto

 **BDE :** alien biology

 **BDE :** particularly thor’s

 **YEET :** and what about it

 **Big Dik Banner :** YOU GUYS

 **Big Dik Banner :** I mean i wish it was that interesting

 **Big Dik Banner :** theyre all dumb shit like astrophysics and molecular biochemistry

 **YEET :** MY SMART BF IM IN LOVE

 **YEET :** SO ACCOMPLISHED

 **YEET :** SO IMPORTANT TO THE SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY

 **YEET :** the spiderling told me that your photograph is in his science classroom!!!

 **Big Dik Banner :** asifdgyfe what???!!!

 **Big Dik Banner :** thats amazing im gonna go cry

 **Big Dik Banner :** iferfgdjkhdkf

 **BDE :** BRUCE GETTING THE APPRECIATION HE DESERVES

 **Only child :** hot take

 **Only child :** long overdue

 **YEET :** APPRECIATING BRUCE CLUB

 **YEET :** MEMBERS ROLL CALL!!!

 **Only child :** LOKI

 **BDE :** VAL

**“Spiderling” was added to the chat**

**“Heimdarling” was added to the chat**

**“Nerd Leeds” was added to the chat**

**Spiderling :** :O

 **Spiderling :** holy shit

 **Nerd Leeds :** pete are we in the revengers group chat

 **Spiderling :** were in the revengers group chat

 **Nerd Leeds :** BLESSED

 **Spiderling :** YOOOOOOO

 **Heimdarling :** bruce banner deserves the world club members : me

 **Spiderling :** WERE IN THE CLUB TOO DR BANNER IS AMAZING

 **Nerd Leeds :** DR BANNER IS OUR FAVORITE SCIENTIST LIKE EVER

 **Big Dik Banner :** OH MY  FSKEGJHTKHWLA

 **Nerd Leeds :** DR BANNER UR NAME HOLY SHIT UR AN ICON

 **Big Dik Banner :** my name

 **Big Dik Banner :** OH MY GOD

 **Big Dik Banner :** THE ONLY TIME I MEET KIDS AND MY NAME IS _BIG DIK BANNER_ OH MY GOD

 **Spiderling :** DR BANNER IS AN ICON

 **YEET :** SECONDED

 **Nerd Leeds :** THIRDED

 **Only child :** FOURTHED

 **BDE :** FIFTHED

 **Heimdarling :** SIXTHED

 **Big Dik Banner :** YOU GUYS TT^TT

 **Big Dik Banner :** youre the best holy fuckin hell

 **YEET :** Banner, you deserve it all

 **BDE :** oooooooooh thor u nasty

 **YEET :** val u can talk

 **Spiderling :** as honoured as i am to be here its like 11pm and me and ned have school still rip

 **Nerd Leeds :** aw man

 **YEET :** we should also rest too! Than kyou for being the voice of reason young friends!

 **YEET :** gooden eve my fellow revengers!

 **BDE :** night losers

 **Only child :** peace out pete and ned, and you Heimdall and bruce, ur blessed

 **Big Dik Banner :** night yall!!!

 **Heimdarling :** i can see you all not actually sleeping thots

 **Spiderling :** have a swell evenin’ buddies

 **Nerd Leeds :** peace out fuckers

 

* * *

 

**Ned :** HOLY SHIT PETER

 **Pete :** OH MY GDO NED THEY ADDES US TO THE GROUP CHAT  SIFDHUKGIEHFIDS

 **Ned :** ASDFHGHLKSDHG

 **Pete :** AHFSDGIODGFILJGDKHLGTHBGLN

 **Ned :** BIG DIK BANNER

 **Pete :** NEW MEME

 **Pete :** AND THOR IS USING THE MEMES I TOLD HIM AOUT _HOLY FUCK_

 **Ned :** were so fucking lucky

 **Pete :**  QUICK SLEEP SO WE CAN GO BACK INTO THE GROUP CHAT

 **Ned :** OH MOOD

 **Ned :** WE NEED TO TELL MJ AT SCHOOL SHES NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS

 **Pete :** OH MY GOD YES

 **Ned :** ANYWWYA GOOD NIGHT BABE <3 <3 <3

 **Pete :** GOOD NIGHT NEDDY WEDDY <3 <3 <3 UWU

 **Ned :** one of these days i will murder you pete

 **Pete :** you love me too much

 **Ned :** true

 **Pete :** night babe :’>  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i fuckin love interwebs ned and peter are almost as wholesome as thorbruce  
> bruce n thor are pete's fun uncles tm
> 
> ALSO HEIMDALL IS A REVENGER let him be appreciated 
> 
> also i am back and hopefully gonna update consistently!!! at least fortnightly updates from now on!


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